National Domestic Violence Month

Simple and Insightful

In 1989, October was named National Domestic Violence Awareness Month as a means to bring awareness and support to victims of domestic violence. While access to reporting domestic violence has improved since then (thanks in large part to the internet and an increased number of advocacy groups), still, the statistics today are staggering:

– Approximately 20 people are physically abused by their spouses or partners every 60 seconds (totalling 10 million people annually)

– 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have been abused by their spouses or partners

Domestic violence has no demographic, affecting all ages, genders, ethnicities, sexual orientations and socio-economic status. And whether or not a child in the abusive household is also being abused, the effects of them seeing their parents suffering can have a lifetime of devastating consequences.

If you suspect a friend (or other loved one) is in a physically abusive relationship, it’s essential to approach the situation with care, empathy and support. Here are some ways that you can help:

– Choose a quiet place and time to speak with your friend where you won’t be overheard or interrupted.
– Begin by saying that you’ve noticed some things that concern you and you’d like to talk about them, because you care very much about that person.
– Avoid judgment, and use “I” statements (“I have noticed you seem anxious or unhappy”) rather than blaming or accusing.
– Be an active listener, resisting any urge to immediately offer solutions.
– Offer resources—whether it’s your time to take them to a support group or helping them find appropriate organizations or professionals that can help them.
– Respect their decisions—they may not be ready yet to leave the abusive relationship but you can continue to offer support.
– Encourage them to seek help (trusted family member, counselor, therapist, clergy, etc.)
– Stay in touch—abusive relationships can be very isolating, so let your friend or loved one know that you are there for them.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, know that you are not alone and now is the time to reach out for help. A good place to start is by calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800.799.7233 or begin a live chat with an advocate at thehotline.org.

Insights is here for you.

(Source of statistics above: The National Child Traumatic Stress Network, 2023)

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