Summer and the Gift of Intentional Time
Ahhh…summer is here!
It’s a time for lazy days and fun in the sun, which for parents can often bring on a mixture of relief and anxiety. On one hand, there’s the joy of longer days and more flexible schedules; on the other, is the challenge of keeping kids engaged without the structure of school. Amidst vacations, camps, travel, and activities, summer can be just as busy as the school year if you let it. However, when we view it as an opportunity to be intentional with the extra time to spend with our children, I think you’ll find it isn’t just valuable; it’s essential.
In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy for time to slip by without meaningful connection. Parents juggle work, responsibilities, and personal demands, often resorting to “parallel living” with their children—being physically together but emotionally distant. However, research continues to affirm that the quality of time spent together can significantly affect a child’s emotional development and a parent’s psychological well-being.
Intentional time doesn’t necessarily mean hours of elaborate activities. It means being mentally present and emotionally engaged. This kind of interaction fosters trust, emotional security, and deeper bonds, which serve as protective factors against anxiety, depression, and behavioral issues in children.
Benefits for Children
- Emotional Regulation – Children thrive on predictability and attention. Regular, intentional time with parents helps children feel safe and seen, giving them a solid foundation to manage their emotions effectively.
- Improved Self-Esteem – When parents choose to be fully present—putting down their phones, making eye contact, and listening without distraction—children internalize a powerful message: You matter. This boosts their sense of self-worth and confidence.
- Decreased Behavioral Issues – Children who experience consistent, nurturing engagement from their caregivers are less likely to act out. Even 15–30 minutes of focused interaction per day can dramatically reduce behavioral problems.
- Better Academic and Social Skills – Summer doesn’t have to leave a learning gap. Reading together, exploring nature, or working on a project fosters curiosity, problem-solving, and communication skills—all of which benefit them academically and socially when school resumes.
Benefits for Parents
- Reduced Parental Guilt – Many parents feel guilt about not “doing enough.” Intentional time, even in small doses, alleviates this pressure. It shifts the focus from quantity to quality.
- Stronger Emotional Connection – Engaging meaningfully with your children helps reinforce your bond, which can serve as a buffer during more stressful parenting moments.
- Mindfulness and Joy – Children have a remarkable ability to be in the moment. Whether it’s running through sprinklers, catching fireflies, or baking cookies, their natural mindfulness can pull adults out of their stress loops and into the present.
- Increased Confidence as a Parent – Intentional engagement strengthens a parent’s sense of competence and clarity in their role. When you see your child respond positively to your attention, it reinforces your sense of purpose and value.
Tips for Being Intentional This Summer
- Create a Summer Rhythm, Not a Rigid Schedule
Set aside daily or weekly time for connection—a walk, a game, a shared meal. Flexibility is key, but intentionality gives it structure.
- Limit Digital Distractions
Consider setting “device-free” times where both you and your child disconnect from screens and connect with each other.
- Follow Their Lead
Ask your child what they’d like to do. Letting them take the lead encourages agency and shows that you value their interests.
- Practice Micro-Moments of Connection
Hugging them when they wake up, sharing a laugh, or asking how they’re feeling—these small acts build emotional trust.
- Model Mental Health Awareness
Talk about your own emotions in age-appropriate ways. Let your children see that it’s okay to rest, express feelings, and seek help when needed.
Summer doesn’t have to be packed with extravagant trips or non-stop entertainment. The best gift you can give your child—and yourself—is your intentional presence. In my work as a child therapist, I often reassure parents that while the parent-child relationship can be the most challenging, at the same time, it can also be the most rewarding. So this summer, I encourage you to create moments of connection through intentionality. The payoff for your presence is priceless!
Supporting children (particularly the tweens, 8-12 year olds), adolescents, and their parents.