May is Mental Health Awareness Month, a month that sheds light on the need to increase awareness of this important aspect of our lives and an invitation for us all to look inward.
In a world where loneliness and disconnection are on the rise, it’s more important than ever to nurture our mental and emotional well-being. One powerful way to begin that journey is by tuning into—and reshaping—our inner voice.
Our inner voice, or internal dialogue, is the constant stream of thoughts that runs through our minds. It is the internal dialogue that shapes how we think, feel and move through the world. I often describe it as the soundtrack playing in the background of our lives—or sometimes, the courtroom, where we replay and judge our daily choices and interactions.
You might be wondering, “What voice?” But if you pause, you’ll notice that we all have one. And often, it’s far more critical than compassionate. So how do we begin to build a healthier relationship with ourselves through this inner dialogue?
It starts with awareness. Take a moment to slow down and really listen to your internal narrative.
- What does it sound like?
- What sentences do you hear? Does it sound familiar? Who told you these
sentences in the past? - Is it harsh, judgmental, sabotaging?
Notice the sentences that are preventing you from living the life you want to live. Once we recognize the tone of our inner voice, we gain the power to change the tune. By becoming aware of how we speak to ourselves internally, we can begin to shape a more positive, constructive inner dialogue. A positive inner voice fosters encouragement, helps us stay calm, boosts motivation, and enhances self-esteem.
If you’re thinking, “That sounds nice, but how do I actually do that?”— here’s a place to start:
- Reflect on what you needed to hear in your life but didn’t. Consider the phrases or affirmations you wish you’d heard more often.
- Challenge negative beliefs or self-talk and replace them with supportive, curious, and solution-oriented statements.
- Examine whether your inner voice reflects truth or distorted thinking—try to reframe it more rationally.
- Align your inner voice with your values and long-term goals.
For example, instead of saying, “This is horrible. I’m never going to get this done.” try reframing it as: “This project is more challenging than I expected. I may need to shift my approach and try a new angle. I’ve handled tough situations before—I can do it again.”
Notice how the latter approach invites resilience, curiosity, and self-compassion—while the former keeps us stuck.
In my work when I ask clients how they’d respond to a friend if they were in a similar situation, their answers are filled with empathy, curiosity, and support. We are willing to offer our friends validation for their feelings, helping them feel heard and we encourage them to view the situation through a lens of curiosity. Yet when it comes to us, we often default to judgment. This month, I invite you to change the track. Let’s experiment with a new playlist: one of curiosity, kindness, understanding, and growth.
The next time you notice that critical voice creeping in, pause and ask: What would I say to a friend right now? Then offer that same compassion to yourself.
Healing and change can only start from a place of curiosity, mindfulness and awareness. We can all learn from insight, we hardly can learn from self-criticism. Gift yourself the month of May as an opportunity to further explore your relationship with yourself, invite curiosity to hear the things you wish for.
Licensed Professional Counselor