Don’t you hate New Year’s Resolutions? They’re so heavy and come with huge side-helpings of guilt and inevitable disappointment. We break them as quickly as we make them. Yet, here I am, at the start of 2026, wondering what my New Year’s Resolutions should be! What if we promise ourselves gifts instead of resolutions? Let’s flip this around and bring a revolution to resolutions. Consider the following five gifts as alternatives:
1. Gift of Direction not Perfection
Rather than binding yourself to a legalistic rule, consider offering a direction to move towards. For example, instead of resolving to lose 20 pounds, declare that you will be kinder to your body this year by being less judgmental, use gentler words, become more sensitive to foods that make your body feel uncomfortable and be more intentional about physical activities that your body will enjoy and not dread. This way, you move in a direction not perfection. Your brain will then begin to look for opportunities to do good to your body.
2. Gift of Themes and Dreams
Choose a single word or phrase to guide your direction and decisions each day. For example, circle the word that resonates the most with what might be a gift to yourself as opposed to a task to conquer: Peace, Rest, Courage, Flexibility, Self-care, Growth, Energy, Self-development. When faced with a decision or choice, weigh it against your theme. Does it align? Does it enhance your dreams and support your themes? Choose to be true to yourself, seek to be congruent with who you are and what you want, and courageously push through even in the face of opposition.
3. Gift of Small Wins
Remove the heaviness of arduous accomplishments that usually end up being way too optimistic. Rather than focusing on outcomes, focus on small wins. For example, instead of reading a book on an important subject, look for a peer-reviewed article. This will serve to provide you with some of the knowledge you seek as well as a sense of completion in a shorter timespan than it would take to read an entire book. Your brain
will be inspired to want more of this reward which will lead to repeatable and sustainable reading habits.
4. Gift of Retention Over Reinvention
A new year does not beckon a new you. Growth can come from honoring what already works and gently adjusting what does not. Avoid sweeping statements about how much you will achieve or change this year and instead aim to celebrate and nurture the strengths you already possess. Any changes you wish to see in yourself should be approached as steps to encourage more growth rather than to eliminate weaknesses.
5. Gift of Compassion
There will be times that even your realistic goals are unattainable. Instead of declaring failure, challenge yourself to inquire as to the kind of support you may need to attain this win and then gift yourself with that support, even if it means getting others to come alongside to help you. Self-compassion inspires change while self-criticism runs from it. In the spirit of garnering support for yourself, below is a Self-Reflection exercise to help you kick-start a sustainable, healthy, and fulfilling 2026. Happy New Year!
My Self-Reflection Exercise
I, _________________________, resolve to use this exercise to reflect on the past year for the primary purpose of bringing into my New Year things that have proved beneficial, educational, and inspirational and that I would like to continue, improve or develop. In each day throughout 2026 I resolve to be intentional about seeking moments of joy, peace, and purpose. As I complete this reflection, I resolve to look back with self-compassion as my guide, making intentional steps to carry forward what will serve me well, leaving behind what did not serve me well, and building on the values I choose to live by.
I write the following with self-compassion and devoid of judgment:
Reflection 1: Lessons, Not Failures
What did last year teach me about myself?
In what area did I grow, even in a small way?
Reflection 2: What I Choose to Carry Forward
Which practices/habits benefited me?
Which relationships do I want to nurture?
Which values/beliefs do I want to deepen?
Reflection 3: What I’m Ready to Release
What drained me?
What did not align with my values?
What expectations of myself can I lay down?
What expectations of others can I lay down?
Reflection 4. Who Do I Want to Be?
What do I feel when I’m at my best?
What qualities do I want to deepen?
In what areas do I want to grow?
Reflection 5: Check-Ins
Write one positive gift you can give your:
Body:
Mind:
Heart/Relationships:
Spirit:
Reflection 6: When I Feel Off Track
When I feel overwhelmed or discouraged this year, I will tell myself:
When I feel overwhelmed or discouraged this year, I will practice self-care by:
My Affirmation for 2026:
I do not need to become someone new. The world needs me, the me that already exists. This year I am simply continuing to grow more fully in who I already am.
Insights Therapist,
Angela Mitakidis, LMFT, LPC, Play Therapist, Mediator
For more ideas about goal setting, down load our North Star Guide.