“There is a distinction between a relationship which has a routine and a relationship which becomes routine.”
― Johnny Rich, The Human Script
Routines are a necessary part of our lives. On the positive side, they can offer us steadiness, predictability, and even a sense of calm. But when we get so entrenched in our routines that we miss out on opportunities for spontaneity and pure joy, it might be time to try something a little different.
The same is true for our relationships.
For couples with jobs, children, pets, etc., routines can be helpful. But think about when you first started dating your significant other; it was a time that was probably anything but routine. You went to new restaurants together, saw the latest movies, tried salsa dancing, and made plans with other couples. That sense of newness—and togetherness—invigorated both of you and at the same time, introduced each other to another side of your personalities.
Of course, lasting relationships are about more than shared activities; there are other things we can do to reconnect. If you’re feeling a little too routine-driven with your lovey, here are 3 ways to liven up your relationship, starting today:
- Write a love letter.There is no substitute for an honest-to-goodness love letter written on actual paper, with an actual pen. In this modern age of technology, there’s a high probability that you or your loved one has never actually received one. If so, yours will be the first! If not, yours will (hopefully) be the best.
- Make tiny tweaks.If you have coffee at home together every morning, make plans to visit a café instead. If dinner is in front of the television, instead, set a beautiful table with candles. If you watch TV in bed before falling asleep, try reading to each other.
- Take turns, turning each other on.We’re not just talking about in the bedroom! Ask your partner about a hobby that she or he has been considering, then research how the two of you can enjoy it together. Next month, reverse roles.
Enjoy your new routines!