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Guidelines for Mediation

We agree to take turns speaking and not to interrupt each other. Each of us has a right to be heard completely. Each of us will get our turn to speak.

We agree to listen respectfully to each other and sincerely try to understand the other person’s needs and interests.

We agree to not blame, attack, or engage in put-downs and will ask questions of each other so we can gain clarity and understanding.

We agree not to take inflexible positions and instead to express ourselves in terms of our personal needs and interests and the outcomes that we wish to realize.

We recognize that, even if we do not agree with it, each of us is entitled to our own perspective.

We will not dwell on things that did not work in the past, but instead will focus on the future we want to create.

We agree to make a conscious, sincere effort not to argue, vent, or narrate, and instead agree to use our time in mediation to work toward what we perceive to be our fairest and most constructive agreement possible.

We will speak up if something is not working for us in mediation.

We will request a break when we need one.

We will speak up if we feel the mediator is not being impartial as to person and neutral as to result.

We will be prepared with some ideas for solutions to problems.

We will be prepared to consider we might be mistaken about something, might be missing something, or may have made an incorrect assumption.

We will be aware of time limits.

We agree not to use any electronic devices (cell phones, tablets, laptops, etc.) during mediation except when doing so is directly related to the mediation. We agree not to record audio or video of any portion of the mediation.

We agree to treat the mediation and the statements made in mediation as confidential; that all statements made in the mediation shall be privileged against use at any trial relating to this dispute, even in cross-examination; that notes either of us or the mediator take will be destroyed at the end of the mediation, except for a final mediated agreement, if any; and that the mediator will not be called as a witness or be otherwise involved in any ongoing litigation, should mediation fail.

We agree not to be under the influence or impaired by alcohol or drugs during mediation.


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