Children’s Bill of Rights

Each child has the rights stated below as well as the right generally to “be a child” free from any acrimony that may now or hereafter exist between the child’s parents. Each party shall make this Children’s Bill of Rights known to every other adult who has a significant role in the child’s life as a caretaker. This includes regular babysitters, grandparents or other relatives with whom the child regularly visits, and any other person having significant, ongoing contact with the child.

  1. Neither parent shall deny the child reasonable use of the telephone to place and receive calls with the other parent and relatives.
  2. Neither parent shall speak or write derogatory remarks about the other parent to the child, or engage in abusive, coarse, or foul language which can be overheard by the child whether or not the language involves the other parent.
  3. Neither parent shall permit the child to overhear arguments, negotiations, or other substantive discussions about parenting, legal, or business dealings between the parents.
  4. Neither parent shall physically or psychologically attempt to pressure or influence the child concerning the personal opinion or position of the child concerning legal proceedings between the parents.
  5. Each parent will permit the child to display photographs of the other parent or both parents in the children’s room.
  6. Neither parent shall communicate moral judgments about the other parent to the child concerning the other parent’s choice of values, lifestyle, choice of friends, successes or failures in life (career, financial, relational), or residential choice.
  7. The parents will acknowledge to the child that the child has two homes, although the child may spend more time at one home than the other.
  8. The parents shall cooperate to the greatest extent practicable in sharing time with the child.
  9. Each parent will permit the child to retain, and allow easy access to, correspondence, greeting cards, and other written materials received from the other parent.
  10. Each parent will respect the physical integrity of items possessed by the child which depict the other parent or remind the child of the other parent.
  11. Neither parent will trivialize, or deny the existence of the other parent to the child.
  12. Neither parent will interrogate the child about the other parent nor will either parent discourage comments by the child about the other parent.
  13. Neither parent will intercept, “lose,” derail, “forget” or otherwise interfere with communications with the child from the other parent.
  14. Neither parent will refuse to acknowledge that the child can have or should have good experiences with the other parent.
  15. Neither parent will directly or indirectly attack or criticize to the child the extended family of the other parent, the other parent’s career, the living and travel arrangements of the other parent, or lawful activities of the other parent or associates of the other parent.
  16. Neither parent will use the child as a “middleman” by using the child to communicate with the other parent on inappropriate topics.
  17. Neither parent will undermine the other parent in the eyes of the child by engaging in the “circumstantial syndrome” which is done by manipulating, changing, or rearranging facts.
  18. Neither parent will create for, or exaggerate to the child, differences between the parents.
  19. Neither parent will say and do things with an eye to gaining the child as an “ally” against the other parent.
  20. Neither parent will encourage or instruct the child to be disobedient to the other parent, stepparents, or relatives.
  21. Neither parent will reward the child for acting negatively toward the other parent.
  22. Neither parent will try to make the child believe he or she loves the child more than the other parent, by, for example, saying that he or she loves the child more than the other parent, over-informing the child on adult topics, or overindulging the child.
  23. Neither parent will discuss child support issues with the child.
  24. Neither parent will engage in judgmental, opinionated, or negative commentary, physical inspections, or interrogations once the child arrives from his/her other home.
  25. Neither parent will “rewrite” or “re-script” facts that the child originally knows to be different.
  26. Neither parent will punish the child physically or threaten such punishment in order to influence the child to adopt the parent’s negative program, if any, against the other parent.
  27. Neither parent will permit the child to be transported by a person who is intoxicated due to consumption of alcohol or illegal drugs.
  28. Neither parent will smoke tobacco materials inside structures or vehicles occupied at the time by the child.
  29. Each parent will permit the child to carry gifts, toys, clothing, and other items belonging to the child with him or her to the residence of the other parent or relatives or permit the child to take gifts, toys, clothing, and other items belonging to the child back to the residence of the other parent, as the case may be, to facilitate the child having with him or her objects, important to the children. The gifts, toys, clothing, and other items belonging to the child referred to here mean items that are reasonably transportable and do not include pets (which the parents agree are impractical to move about).
  30. Neither party shall suggest to the child that it is the child’s option whether or not to engage in visitation during the other party’s time for possession and access.
  31. Each party will assist and encourage the child’s attendance and participation in church, temple, or other organized religious activities if such is the desire of the child.